i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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