Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
