oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Randomize
