her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Sex in the backyard? Check.
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