I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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