PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
