I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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