what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
