I just made out with a guy for $7.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
