You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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