her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
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