i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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