ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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