im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
