one two three fourrrrnication!
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
