i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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