I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
