The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
