Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
