none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
