how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
