Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
COCAINE IS GR8
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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