ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i just made my gag reflex go away.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
