This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
