she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
i think my cat just said my name.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
