Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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