i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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