Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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