Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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