6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
