that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
false alarm. still invincible.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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