I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
