The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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