I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
