I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
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