I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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