how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
