come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
