never play flip cup with pint glasses
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
