12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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