she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
