I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
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Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
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I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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