you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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