Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
