I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
