just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize