Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
