So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
