If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize