It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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