Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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