Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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