He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
