I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
