So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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