Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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