take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Sorry about my life...
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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