You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
