I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
