so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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