Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
