What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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