he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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