Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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